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Fanning The Flames Of The FIRE movement

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I can relate to how you felt because I think my brother felt the same way. He saw a doctor after our conversation and from what he told me, the doctor asked him if he wanted to see a social worker and go on medication. I never understood that response and I don't think he did either. He'd been living that way, perhaps like an alien born into human society - which pains me for both of you and Steve's brother and countless others - but he now had some sort of explanation. And so did our parents. Honestly, it didn't change the way he lived but he is likely unburdened as you were. This has spurred me to reach out and ask him about that again, so thank you. It was just sort of dropped.

He is highly functional, employed in the insurance industry in Chicago, a hobbyist writer for a satirical sports paper with an unbelievable memory and the kindest heart.

I didn't know how he'd react to my Asperger's suggestion but I took a s at it. Plus, he's the one person in my family who always thought I was smart. Our mother was intrigued and I suspect felt a bit more clued in. I was hopeful that he would feel a sense of normalcy and answer the unasked questions he must have had. I didn't think he'd get angry but I can see why other's thought he (or you) might have. I'm glad you felt unburdened, and people would understand that feeling once they're tuned in - they don't fail to understand, just never would have thought about it that way.

Thank you for sharing. It's been remarkable.

Steve, I can't imagine what those years of your life must have felt like. The courage you and your mother had to have and the patience is not common. I hope your brother is somewhere at peace. And your mother and sister too. 

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13 minutes ago, MoeMoney said:

I can relate to how you felt because I think my brother felt the same way. He saw a doctor after our conversation and from what he told me, the doctor asked him if he wanted to see a social worker and go on medication. I never understood that response and I don't think he did either. He'd been living that way, perhaps like an alien born into human society - which pains me for both of you and Steve's brother and countless others - but he now had some sort of explanation. And so did our parents. Honestly, it didn't change the way he lived but he is likely unburdened as you were. This has spurred me to reach out and ask him about that again, so thank you. It was just sort of dropped.

He is highly functional, employed in the insurance industry in Chicago, a hobbyist writer for a satirical sports paper with an unbelievable memory and the kindest heart.

I didn't know how he'd react to my Asperger's suggestion but I took a s at it. Plus, he's the one person in my family who always thought I was smart. Our mother was intrigued and I suspect felt a bit more clued in. I was hopeful that he would feel a sense of normalcy and answer the unasked questions he must have had. I didn't think he'd get angry but I can see why other's thought he (or you) might have. I'm glad you felt unburdened, and people would understand that feeling once they're tuned in - they don't fail to understand, just never would have thought about it that way.

Thank you for sharing. It's been remarkable.

Steve, I can't imagine what those years of your life must have felt like. The courage you and your mother had to have and the patience is not common. I hope your brother is somewhere at peace. And your mother and sister too. 

thanks, Moe

Little clarification, my mother and sister are gone. I was speaking only when I was a r 50 years ago. I knew I had to get out of an intolerable situation at 18. After that, it was up to me to straighten myself out. My mother was not guilty free. She protected my brother and his outrageous behavior against everybody else in the family who suggested that my brother get help. She would have nothing to do with help either, and always told me that I have to understand him, which only infuriated me. She was an old-world immigrant Italian who just did not believe that anything was wrong. These issues were settled with me a long time ago. I do think about my brother and mother, and the unfairness that life can bring. They did not deserve to suffer

 

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